Their examples are clearer and more data-driven, but the quotes are a bit too long. Improve your own examples, not specific enough. Her thesis focuses on the changing business model, where the platform is sucking in users and turning them into cash when they reach a certain level. In my paper, I often have a lot of scattered points, but not focused on one point in depth. In the following article, I will provide more data and more in-depth examples to validate the points.