One of the main points of feedback for A1 was that there was repetition in some of the vocabulary used in the essay. Words like “however” were used quite frequently. That would be something I’ll be changing in assignment 3.
Some other points noted were that there were a lot of quotations in my essay which can be paraphrased into my own words. Having quotations takes up a lot of space in academic essays, especially ones with smaller word limits. It is important to go straight to the point when addressing the questions rather than including statement sentences and quotations that can be summarised or cut down more concisely.
Furthermore, the APA 7th citations were not completely accurate. There were minor details like dot points that needed fixing and that would be something I’ll be looking out for for my A3 assignment.
For the A3 assignment, I’ll be taking this feedback and seeking to fix the details I had been lacking in my A1. Most importantly, I’ll be writing my essays with more of a personalised touch on the topics into the future. Clearly stating my opinions on the issues and further exploring how those opinions are shaped.