To Hanxi Li:
First of all, the position of the in-text reference is incorrect, but this problem is not important. The important thing is that there are too many descriptive words, and there are not many analytical words to make the whole article academic, because what is described can be found in search, and analysis is an important factor that can highlight personal thinking and idea generation. In addition, there are a lot of oral words in the article, and it is recommended to use more formal words. Also some of the references are not APA 7th.
More analysis behind the in-text reference, and use the APA 7th showcase document.
To Yu Han:
Avoid the oral word “like”, use for example or such as might be better for the assignment. To meet the formal writing style, try to write the whole word, not abbreviation.